Well for most of you, so I guess if I include me and my two sisters, the three of us that read this bog, may know that my mother-in-law was recently diagnosed, for the second time, with cancer in October. We knew it was bad...she had it in four different places now, the first time just being in the breast. But this time it was in breast, lung, liver, and femur bone. We were blown away, much like taking a drink from a fire hose, with this news. But Jolene remained hopefully and steady as she entered this new phase of her life. I know there were times where she was thinking, as we all did, "why now," "why me." But she had the class and the grace to never show any doubt to us, her family.
But with time and treatments, her body just couldn’t handle all that it needed to handle to rid her body of cancer and she became deathly ill. As we were told that she had something like 3 days left to live, Jim and I rushed to pack the fives of us and get ourselves to Utah to say good-bye and say hello to a life without Jolene, Mom and Nana. It was a hard 14 hours…lots of sudden crying and lots of sudden laughter as we were all silently recalling wonderful memories of this amazing lady.
As we entered her home in Utah , it was shocking to see such a vibrant women become such a limber body of life. It was upsetting to me to see her like this…barley able to speak and her eyes unable to recall my face. She did however recognize Jim, Noah and Elijah and after a few minutes she was able to remember me, but she could not recall Spencer. Again, the pain of somebody who has been actively in your life for so long, to not look at you with loving eyes was a harsh reality of what cancer can do to a body. That night as we said goodnight, I wondered if this would be the last but much to my surprise, she lasted the next day. In tender moments that I will soon not forget, Noah read to her “I love you as much” I saw Spencer give her a kiss on the check and say “I love you Nana” with absolute and pure love. I saw Jim look at his mom with so much love and tenderness that one can not put it into words. Again these moments will not soon fade from my mind.
As we were physically and mentally preparing for Jolene’s death, she once again surprised us with a strength that is well beyond any of us. She started to talk and request things to eat and drink. We were all shocked as her doctor gave her maybe 3 days at the most. We were ecstatic that she would ask for such things, but in our hearts we all know that she will not make it much longer. As the week wore on we started to get that nagging feeling that we needed to come home, so once again we had to say good-bye. It was a hard good-bye as I feel this will be our last earthly good-bye. But as we started our 14 hour journey home, I couldn’t but help feel a sense of peace that we will have a glorious hello one day. One in which she will not be confined by her earthly ailments. I am grateful for this knowledge and know it to be true. I love Jolene and am happy that she raised such a wonderful man who became my husband and a loving father to three wonderful boys.
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3 comments:
Ann, this is such a sweet blog. You made me cry, which, these days is coming a little easier. Very sweet and I am glad things went as well as they could and you have these tender memories. We are glad you are back!
My Prayers and Thoughts are with You all as a Family, no one can ever take away precious memories.
What a neat post. Honestly, you put that so well! My regards to your family and you know I'm here if you need anything at all!
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